Many survivors of sexual abuse report that they have flashbacks or dissociate during sex even though they love and trust their current partner. If this is happening to you, please know that you are not alone AND there is help available for this.
Read MoreIf your inner critic says things like these, then this blog is for you.
“You are so stupid! Why did you say that?
“They will never give YOU the promotion”
“You’re a terrible mother. You can’t even manage to get them to school on time.”
“You are so fat! And now you’re eating that?”
Read MoreMany of us find ourselves in the same relationship over and over. It’s a new person, but the story is the same…a lot like watching reruns. Why is that?
Read MoreWhen my kids were growing up, one of their favorite movies was Disney’s “The Mighty Ducks” with Emelio Estevez. The two coaches in the movie are fairly good examples of the difference between self-criticism and self-compassion when it comes to motivating ourselves to be our best selves.
Read MoreIf you struggle with low self-esteem this blog is for you. I will explain why self-esteem is not just overrated but can even be toxic. I will also introduce you to self-esteem’s cousin, self-compassion, which will make you feel better without the ugly underbelly of self-esteem.
Read MoreMovies are a mirror of the world, sometimes as it is, more often as we wish it was. It’s like the fun house mirror that makes us appear tall and thin (my favorite mirror, yours may differ).
Read MoreI don’t agree with the idea of “generational sins” or “generational curses”. I am not denying the fact that many times destructive habits such as addiction or domestic violence tend to run in families. I have an alternate explanation for that phenomenon...and a path to freedom for those who feel like they are experiencing a “curse”.
Read MoreMy colleague Michelle raves about hypnotherapy so I posed this Hollywood version of hypnosis to her:
On an episode of NCIS, super cool, tough guy, special agent Nick Torres, an avid health and fitness nut, was hypnotized. While under hypnosis, he sang a Beyonce’ song, ate an apple fritter and gave agent Bishop his knife. Then he didn’t remember doing any of this. How accurate is this compared to actual hypnotherapy?
Often anxiety comes not from what IS happening, but what we think MIGHT happen. It is so easy for our imagination to run away, thinking of all the things that could (but probably won’t) go wrong.That is why being purposeful in our thinking can have such a dramatic effect, reducing our anxiety in a matter of minutes. If you have a case of the “what ifs” the exercise in this article will help you tame it quickly.
Read MoreIt’s past 2 am and you are wide awake even though you are exhausted. You’ve tossed and turned for hours. Regardless of what time you fall asleep, that alarm will go off at 6:30. As you lie awake you imagine yourself trudging through tomorrow, trying to stay on top of things at work, drinking coffee to get you through the day. You contemplate taking a sleeping pill, but you know from experience that makes you feel groggy and out of it the next day. “I can’t keep going like this” you remind yourself. Your blood pressure has increased. You don’t have the energy to go to the gym or have a social life. Insomnia is taking over your life.
If you suffer from insomnia, you are not alone. This week I write about drug free treatment for insomnia.
I have heard the term “medical trauma” used much more frequently this past year than in previous times. The pandemic has brought it to our attention and potentially many people are experiencing it. Just because the term has become more common doesn’t always mean that it is used appropriately, or even that the common meaning is well defined. Let’s talk about medical trauma today and answer a few questions: What is it? And how would a person know if they may have it? Is it treatable?
Read MoreI come from a family full of people who “didn’t need” therapy, so I get it. It took me a long time to make that decision but I’ve never regretted taking that first step. Maybe you’ve been on the fence about therapy for a while. You think that it will help but you’re just not sure now is the time. One of the clearest ways to tell if you need therapy is if the problem is impacting other areas of your life. Do you cancel plans with friends? Do you have difficulty concentrating at work? Are you not sleeping well? Do you and your partner argue about the problem?
Read MoreAs if taking the step to get therapy was not already challenging, then there is also the task of choosing a therapist. If you tried Google you already discovered there are a lot of therapists out there. How do you choose? I’ve come up with some questions that will help you get the information you need about a potential counselor, so that you can make a choice that feels right for you.
Read MoreOf course if you are suicidal, depressed to the point of not getting out of bed, or anxious to the point of not leaving your house, you know it’s time to get some help. But if you’re doing pretty well, all things considered,(a year of pandemic, social distancing, working from home, schooling at home, economic stressors, etc) you don’t really need therapy - right?
Here are three reasons you may not have considered for getting therapy.
Read MoreThere’s a lot of confusion about what trauma is and what kind of people develop post traumatic symptoms. Traumatic stress is not a sign of weakness. Having it doesn’t indicate any deficiency in the individual. Traumatic stress is a NORMAL reaction to an overwhelmingly stressful situation. Our nervous system reacts in whatever way is necessary to help us survive. Let’s go over some truths about trauma and a common misconception.
Read MoreFor those who have never been to therapy (and I was one of them at one point so I get it, it’s hard to take that step!), there is a lot of uneasiness about going in and talking to a total stranger about very personal issues. Hollywood has not helped matters. Most therapists really don’t have you lie on a couch while they psychoanalyze you. So I thought I would write about what to expect and what not to expect in therapy and a little about how I do therapy.
Read MoreLike many of you, I was without power and water for a good chunk of this past week. And let me tell you, therapists are not immune to the effects of trauma. I have felt the effects of the stress of this past week and I’m sure you have too. Maybe it comes up in body aches or brain fog. If you have an autoimmune disease, you may notice an uptick in symptoms. Maybe you’re like I was on Thursday, and find yourself irritable and generally unpleasant company. We’ve all been to that place at one point or another. With that in mind, it seems like a great time to write about self-care, especially self-care in the aftermath of a storm. This storm was literal, but these techniques can help you weather a variety of life’s storms and guide you to safe harbor.
Read MoreWe’re all feeling burned out by nearly 11 months of the pandemic, lockdowns, and social distancing. The strain can take a toll on us, so let’s shake things up a bit. Here are 3 ways to overcome pandemic fatigue.
Read MoreThis is a common concern of many of my clients who experience recurring or prolonged depression. Either they have tried antidepressants in the past and found them either not helpful or having side effects that were more bothersome than the depression or they prefer natural remedies.
Read MoreBy now you have probably noticed the stress of prolonged social distancing. The Centers for Disease Control is warning of increasing mental health issues and the media is beginning to report on it as well. We are social creatures and the isolation is difficult for all of us. For those with pre-existing mental health issues such as depression, social distancing may exacerbate the problem. Others may begin experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety for the first time.
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