Boundary Stones and Generational Sins

I don’t agree with the idea of “generational sins” or “generational curses”. I am not denying the fact that many times destructive habits such as addiction or domestic violence tend to run in families. I have an alternate explanation for that phenomenon...and a path to freedom for those who feel like they are experiencing a “curse”.

Let’s begin by looking at the passage that is often quoted as Biblical evidence of generational sins and curses.

In Deuteronomy 5:8-10 we read, 

“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.”

That is one scary verse...until we look into the Hebrew word for “punishing”. I am not an expert in ancient Hebrew, but this particular word “paqad” is translated to a lot of English words and “punishing” is only one of those. It also gets translated “visit”, “overseer” and “number” to name just a few. Some examples will illustrate the broadness of the meaning of this word. God visited (paqad) Sarah to fulfill his promise that she would have a son (Genesis 21:1), Joseph was appointed overseer (paqad) of Potiphar’s house (Genesis 29:5) and Moses numbered (paqad) or counted the children of Israel in Numbers 30:14. Of the 305 times the word is used in the Old Testament it is translated “numbered” 119 times, “visit” 59 times and “punish” only 31 times. So if God numbers the sins of the fathers to the third or fourth generation, that is a lot different than punishing. And if, as NIV translates this passage, he visits the sins of the father on the children to the third or fourth generation, now we have something entirely different. Sin will knock on the door, but we each have the choice whether or not to allow that sin into our lives.

Of course, we don’t want to go around willy nilly changing words in Scripture just to make it to our liking - right? So let’s test this against some other passages and see if we find a consensus in Scripture. There are two passages in particular that are interesting because God is refuting a proverb that the Israelites would quote “The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge”. In other words, if the parents did something bad, the children were going to experience the consequences of that. Apparently God had enough of this proverb because He speaks through two different prophets to set the record straight. First in Jeremiah 31:29-34, speaking of a future time for Israel, we read,

“In those days they shall say no more:

‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes,

And the children’s teeth are set on edge.’

But every one shall die for his own iniquity; every man who eats the sour grapes, his teeth shall be set on edge. Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah— not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them, says the Lord. But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put My law in their minds, and write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, says the Lord. For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”

Notice the new covenant is mentioned. That’s Jesus!!! The new covenant in His blood is what sets us free. We can each learn new patterns of thinking and interacting based on our relationship with Christ and our Heavenly Father, rather than the patterns we have experienced from our earthly parents. The second passage is found in Ezekiel 18. The entire chapter is important so please take the time to read it. I am going to pull out the highlights. In verses 1-3 God is calling them out regarding this proverb.

“The word of the Lord came to me again, saying, “What do you mean when you use this proverb concerning the land of Israel, saying:

‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes,

And the children’s teeth are set on edge’?

“As I live,” says the Lord God, “you shall no longer use this proverb in Israel.”

There is a lengthy example of a righteous father, a wicked son, and a righteous grandson and how the wicked will be judged for their wickedness but the righteous will not be judged for the wickedness of the generation before or the generation after. The chapter closes with a plea from God to each individual to repent and live. God says in verse 30-32,

 “‘Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways,’ says the Lord God. ‘Repent, and turn from all your transgressions, so that iniquity will not be your ruin. Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die, O house of Israel? For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies,’ says the Lord God. ‘Therefore turn and live!’”

It is evident from these passages that God does not “punish” the sins of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations. So then the question that follows is, then why do we see so many people who are following the same unhealthy patterns that their parents followed? And that brings us to boundary stones. 

In the ancient world property lines were marked with stones, much like the one in the photo above. Because property was passed on from one generation to the next, it was important that these stones not be moved. There are several verses that mention “boundary stones” in the NIV. In NKJV the word is translated “landmark”. If an unscrupulous neighbor moved a boundary stone they could effectively steal land from an unsuspecting neighbor.  In the law, God was very clear that moving a boundary stone was not permitted. In fact, in Deuteronomy 19:14 this statement immediately follows a passage about murder which would seem to indicate this is a serious offense.

“Do not move your neighbor’s boundary stone set up by your predecessors in the inheritance you receive in the land the Lord your God is giving you to possess.”

In Deuteronomy 27 it gets even more serious. God has the people of Israel recite a series of curses on people who create idols, commit murder and commit gross sexual sins, but right in the middle is this verse,

“‘Cursed is anyone who moves their neighbor’s boundary stone’

Then all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’”

There are several verses in Proverbs that stress the importance of boundary stones, and especially not moving the boundary stones of those who are vulnerable such as widows and orphans.

“The Lord tears down the house of the proud, but he sets the widow’s boundary stones in place.” Proverbs 15:25

“Do not move an ancient boundary stone set up by your ancestors.” Proverbs 22:28

“Do not move an ancient boundary stone or encroach on the fields of the fatherless”, Proverbs 23:10

All of this emphasis begs the question - why are boundary stones so important to God? I believe it is because they represent something more than physical boundaries on the land. They also represent our personal boundaries, such as emotional boundaries, sexual boundaries, and relational boundaries. The warning to not move the boundaries comes with a curse on the person moving the boundary, not the one offended. Jesus reiterates this in Matthew 18:6-7.

“But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!”

When we experience unhealthy boundaries as children we often grow up not knowing where the boundary ought to be. We have not experienced where God intended that boundary to be so we may go through life with no sense of where the limits are. The result can be repeating the same unhealthy patterns of our parents, but it is not a “curse”. It is not something we are doomed to do. Instead, it is a matter of learning where God intended our boundaries to be. When we are certain where the boundaries ought to be, then we can stand firm and hold to our new healthy boundaries. We learn where the boundaries should be by having healthy relationships, with ourselves, others and God. There is a saying, “We are wounded in relationships, and we heal in relationships.” As we heal in relationship with Jesus Christ, God Himself can re-parent us, teaching us His ways of living and interacting with others. We can have our minds transformed by His truth. He never intended us to go it alone. We need Him first and foremost and then we need support and encouragement from others who have healthy boundaries. If you would like help developing healthy boundaries and healthy relationships, call today to set up your free consultation. 832-534-3624

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Tammy J Cover, MS, LPC specializes in helping people recover from traumatic experiences. Whether combat, sexual assault, relationship trauma or medical trauma, Tammy can help you process and heal from traumatic stress. For more info about Tammy check out her ABOUT page.