Two Truths and a Lie about Trauma

There’s a lot of confusion about what trauma is and what kind of people develop post traumatic symptoms. Traumatic stress is not a sign of weakness. Having it doesn’t indicate any deficiency in the individual. Traumatic stress is a NORMAL reaction to an overwhelmingly stressful situation. Our nervous system reacts in whatever way is necessary to help us survive. Let’s go over some truths about trauma and a common misconception.

The first truth about trauma is that it is subjective. The events that rise to the level of trauma are different for every person. What I might consider traumatic might be a mild inconvenience for you and vice versa. For example, one person might get in a serious car accident and have no traumatic symptoms or symptoms resolve in a few weeks while another person might have flashbacks and nightmares for years or be triggered by loud noises or squealing brakes. I once treated someone who had a choking incident when she was a child. The adults knew that she was never in any real danger, but she had experienced it as “almost dying” and had developed traumatic symptoms as a result. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) has certain objective criteria for a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder including what kinds of events “count” yet many times people have the symptoms without having an event that fits the criteria. This is one of the reasons that so many people I treat have been diagnosed with anxiety or depression or another issue. They are given medication which helps in the short term but their nervous system is still experiencing traumatic stress. As a result they often tell me that one medication works for a while and then stops working so their doctor has to switch them to another medication. Whether or not you have had a near death experience, you may have traumatic stress. Especially if the events happened when you were a child because as children we are less able to deal with that level of stress and we also may not have the life experience to interpret the situation as in my client who believed she almost died from choking. One common cause of traumatic stress symptoms is relationship trauma. While abandonment by a parent or infidelity by a spouse do not meet the DSM threshold for an event for PTSD diagnosis, relationship trauma is still a very real type of trauma. Trauma is subjective. No one can tell you what was or was not traumatic to you, but a therapist can help you heal from traumatic experiences.

Another truth about trauma is that it does not always show up as the obvious symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. While this is a common presentation of traumatic stress, it is not the only one. Many people have traumatic stress but it does not show up as flashbacks, nightmares or intrusive thoughts. In fact, many people don’t have the re-experiencing symptoms at all, or they did for a while and then those symptoms went away. Many of the other symptoms of PTSD are similar to other mental health issues such as depression or anxiety.  For example: 

• Always feeling on edge 

• Difficulty trusting

• Feeling like you always have to be watching your back

• Anxiety when out in public

• Becoming angry or irritable at slight provocation

• Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy

• Absence of emotion or numbness or inability to feel joy or loving feelings

• Drinking or using substances to avoid thoughts or emotions

• Low self esteem or negative beliefs about yourself

In addition, many phobias can be traced back to a traumatic experience whether or not there is a clear similarity between the experience and the phobia. 

If any of these sound familiar, you may be experiencing traumatic stress.

The lie about trauma is that it never goes away. Many of us have heard stories or have a family member who was in a war or was sexually abused or raped and “never recovered.” That happens and it is not the person’s fault that they have not recovered. PTSD was only added to the DSM in 1980, EMDR was developed in 1987. Polyvagal theory was developed in the 1990’s. Then it takes decades for research to prove that the theories and techniques hold up in scientific studies. The resources available are often lacking and even many therapists are not trained in specific trauma therapies. These therapists provide helpful coping skills that can help with symptoms but not heal the underlying nervous system responses. However, please know that trauma can be treated. There are a variety of treatments that have been tried and tested and found to provide lasting improvements to those suffering from traumatic stress including Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Internal Family Systems (IFS) to name just a couple.  I have treated people decades after the event and seen dramatic results. There is help. Please don’t continue to suffer.

And here’s a bonus truth about trauma. The single best predictor of traumatic stress continuing is avoidance of dealing with it. That’s right. Avoidance helps maintain traumatic stress. When we face trauma head on and shine a bright light on it, it shrinks back, shrivels up and goes away.

If you are interested in learning more about trauma treatment or treatment for anxiety or depression that may stem from traumatic experience please schedule a free consultation. You will be able to ask questions and learn more about us and how we can help. Call 832-534-3624. This is my confidential voicemail. I will most likely be in a session so please leave a message. I return calls at intervals throughout the day.