Two Truths and a Lie about Therapy

For those who have never been to therapy (and I was one of them at one point so I get it, it’s hard to take that step!), there is a lot of uneasiness about going in and talking to a total stranger about very personal issues. Hollywood has not helped matters. Most therapists really don’t have you lie on a couch while they psychoanalyze you. So I thought I would write about what to expect and what not to expect in therapy and a little about how I do therapy.

Let’s start with the lie. Therapy is not about paying someone to listen to you talk about your problems every week for an hour. That can help in the sense that it relieves some stress and helps you feel less alone, but it doesn’t actually help you move forward, transform your life or get unstuck. And let’s face it, who wants to pay $100 a week to someone who doesn’t help you achieve meaningful transformation in your life. It would be cheaper to buy a dog and most dogs are better listeners than people anyway. Therapy is about transformation. It is about you wanting something different in your life and you and your therapist mapping out a way to bring that into reality. Most of my clients are sick of their problems. The last thing they want to do is come in and talk about those problems week after week. Like you, they want to see progress. They want to know that something is getting better. 

The first truth I want to emphasize is that you are the expert on you. I am here to support YOU in reaching YOUR goals. So in the very first session, you will tell me a little about yourself and what is going on in your life, but most importantly you will tell me what you want to see change in your life by the end of our time together. Then we will work together to help you achieve your goals. Do you want to feel less anxious? Do you want to stop having recurring nightmares? The idea is that we have to know where we are going or we won’t know when we get there. Once we know where we’re going we can talk about how to get there. I use a variety of techniques and I want my clients to tell me what works for them and what is not helpful for them. You are the expert on you! 

The second truth is the right treatment can be truly transformative. For example, if you have had a traumatic experience and have been to therapy in the past, you may have been taught some coping skills to help you get through flashbacks or nightmares or addictive behaviors. These are great things to learn and I teach them, but this is only part of what we can do. Some therapists still believe that PTSD cannot be cured. It saddens me that so many people have been misinformed. There are techniques such as EMDR that can help the brain heal. Wouldn’t it be great if you didn’t just have coping skills to deal with triggers, but that you were healed so that it wasn’t a trigger anymore? If you have had multiple traumas, we can create a strategy for dealing with them in an order that is most likely to produce maximum benefit as soon as possible. If you have only one trauma, you will be amazed at how quickly you can achieve tremendous results.

There you have it. Two truths and a lie about therapy. I won’t make you talk about your problems week after week. You are the expert on you. The right therapy can be truly transformative. I hope that this has made therapy feel a little more accessible for you. I’m happy to schedule a free consultation so we can see if we are a good fit for each other. Call 832-534-3624. This is my confidential voicemail. I will most likely be in a session so please leave a message. I return calls at intervals throughout the day.